Monday 6 April 2009

96/365 A footprint on my heart

Today would have been my first daughter's 8th birthday. This is one of her footprints, she was stillborn. I have a big box crammed with cards, a remembrance book, video footage of a very kind midwife taking hand & footprints, big pink bows from the armfuls of flowers we received, a blanket she was wrapped in, a little outfit she was dressed in, a lock of her hair, photos of her, photos of the flowers, the hebrew prayer our Jewish midwife read out at the funeral, some words Mark & I each wrote which were read for us at the funeral because we could not speak... We had hundreds of cards and emails, I printed all the emails out, some folk went on to send cards or emails on the anniversary for a few years after. We called her Kim Annie Violet, the middle names were my paternal grandmother's names, I never knew her.

As a way of letting people know that I was 'ok', my email sig for some time after read "The body is well, the mind is managing, and the love of Mark & Oliver, and of Kim's healing gift are keeping the heart from breaking." (The 'healing gift ' part is a long story and has to do with recovering from a traumatic experience in a rather unique way: www.homebirth.org.uk/nickykim.htm & www.homebirth.org.uk/nickyjodie.htm)

A special friend who suffered a similar loss more recently just gave me a special box for Kim's keepsakes. So the box I made isn't crammed any more.

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7 comments:

  1. I can not even imagine... Thanks for sharing something so precious and personal!

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  2. My heart goes out to you. God bless

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  3. What bittersweet images. And what a poignant story.

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  4. Beautiful images and wonderful memories that I know from experience are sometimes(often times) hard to think about or share. I am glad that you shared yours with me.

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  5. I took melias box into St Oswalds with me as I didn't want to leave her memories 'alone'...it really helped, I made peace with millie and her death in a way, you know I love you nic...you are an inspiration always have been

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  6. Nicky, I don't know where those 8 years have gone, but my heart and prayers go out to you and Mark.All our love Angie, Andy and the boys xxxx

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  7. I'll be thinking of you all this weekend. Sending big hugs your way. Take care of yourself. Susie xoxo

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